My ex boyfriend keeps liking my photos. I was in the same boat. I have many regrets from the past and can't bear to add another one to the long list. Moreland told me, "Some moms have that immediate, overwhelming, love-at-first-sight feeling with their newborns; others don't. And that's okay. Apply for wic and food stamps and move in with family. Hi everyone! I thought the same! I JUST came here to vent not telling people I'm snobby or lazy which I've never been! bcus a womens cry n tongue is very sharp. The author playing in the snow in December 2022. Also, don't give her a dime of your money towards the baby until you find out if it's yours. My partner works alot which I think is the cause of us not having any connection? In order to fully understand why I've come to this conclusion on why men stop wanting sex with women they're in a relationship with, it's important to understand every part of the reality dose . Paula Perry has a multi-page spreadsheet titled "Squirrels," which details the health and wellness of tiny, injured baby squirrels she keeps in her house. . So, chances are, she's not speaking as she normally would. I too got burned with the kid trap. 1997-2023 BabyCenter, LLC, a Ziff Davis company. So today at my apt (weekly NST/ ultrasound due to Covid protocol) baby girl measured 8lb 2 ounces and short so they are saying she will be a big baby and have a big headI had my cervix checked and Im not dilated any nor has 35 weeks - desperate to getto finish line ?? That showed up as a third factor." When I did he the. This is why i found it hard to break up with her although I'd thought about it many times in the past. If you'd like to talk more you could Facebook message me my names Logan Downey this is my profile pic but in rainbow. If you're still contemplating having a family, you're still young enough to have that luxury. A baby doesn't get to choose who his parents are so I think if you feel you won't be able to love your baby, it would be best for the both of y'all to be open to adoption. Archived discussions are usually a bit older and not as active as other community content. Add to Collection. Unless GF is somehow unfit, she'll get custody, meaning she makes the calls and gets support (e.g. If you just dont see it working it is better to do it now. I used to . I have a good job with good income and will pay half of the costs, I didn't want to lose her but I did. On the contrary, women have been forced to marry men they didn't love for centuries. I mean really a woman gets pregnant with your child and there are no options but to marry her? As opposed to hanging out with friends and other men she isn't in love with, she may be much more outgoing and boisterous. He will probably try to then use the baby against you. Dont ever sleep with any girl you are not sure abt. Suck it up because you didn't do her any favours having to live with you either. have condoms been created for monkeys, so silly, i feel for your baby maannnnn, irresponsible parents. the guy might turn into a psychopath and malevolent towards the girl.he would also probably turn into a serial cheater and wife beater which is usually what happens. AS to your ex, is she still into you, or is it one-sided? Your post will be hidden and deleted by moderators. Hey I know exactly how you feel. Having A Baby With Someone You Don't Want To Be With, How To Deal With It? Find advice, support and good company (and some stuff just for fun). Especially in your baby's life! 'Don't expect rewards in love': woman, 32, who desperately wants a baby says she dated 100 men in a year, renewing marriage pressure debate in China A woman went on more than 100 dates. Please specify a reason for deleting this reply from the community. I find the really difficult and I just have idea what do. I just need to vent and I thought this would be a good place to do it. He's not all bad. FTM. You're a mom now. It would not work out for you or for her. I pretended to be. I know many people that don't feel a connection to their babies for whatever reason until they are born, it happens and it will definitely change once you see his little face. Long story short: we've togheter Long distance girlfriend pregnant and is thinking about breaking up. My girlfriend and I just broke up and she's 3 months pregnant. Sometimes it feels like you just can't win. Call your old boss, call family and friends, research aid and stop telling yourself you're stuck. It is tough to find time for yourself, let alone your spouse. Having children is not cheap. You can't force yourself to love him. This is why friends with benefits is never a good idea. Why not sharing in the upbringing of the child? If something that can work out for you to try loving her, that would be most ideal. You will need to end an unwanted relationship. Right now her parents are planning to bring her over to my house. we ended u divorcing in 6 years anyway. back out now, "Leaving a pregnant girlfriend with your child, in my view is very selfish and irresponsible. 37 weeks today. If I could do something different, it would be to divorce as soon as my last daughter was born. The problem I have now is that have a beautiful baby girl with one girl I impregnated whom I dont love. My boyfriend cheated on me with his baby mama and now she is pregnant but I still love him HELP!! By Kate Spencer Published: Apr 27, 2016 UNIVERSAL PICTURES | LAYNEELU/IMGUR AGE 6 I. the repercussions and consequences of such an act always plays out. But that luxury comes with an expiration date, especially for women. With the lowest fertility rate in the . Adoption is for some people who want to unselfishly make sure the child is cared for and loved by people who can support it just like toughing it out and having the child, supporting it, and loving it is for others. I do feel sorry for you and the situation you are in. I hope everything works out for you. Group Owners uphold the core values of the brand by reporting content that violates the community guidelines. I really don't want to mess this child's life up. It happens almost all the time that children involved in such situations rather suffer the consequencies. maybe take a pre-marital class and figure out some common ground to build a relationship on Nine years ago I was mad in love with my first boyfriend. He bought it and it is in his name. I wish I wasn't pregnant by him. The thought of her raising my kid with another man makes me feel sick, I hate this. They had to do it because the marriage was arranged or demanded, as their families saw them as a burden and financial responsibility to be passed on to a man who was willing to take her off their hands. The longer you stay with him the more he's going to think you do have feelings for him and it will only hurt him more in the end. Are these issues still there? Know theways to move on after a bad relationship to help you to get better. The guy obviously does not love the girl in question yet went ahead and had a baby with her out of wedlock. Some men can be very guarded and closed when it comes to expressing how they feel - it can almost feel like they are pulling away from you and leaves you wondering whether he's actually into you. Anyway, if you don't want to be with her, make that very clear. I don't know if your feelings of disconnection will pass but I sure hope they do. Mary Morris Former Bookkeeper Author has 285 answers and 1.6M answer views 2 y After all, what is marriage if there is no happiness? YOU GOT THIS! I would sacrifice my own happiness and stay for the kids not interested in been with anyone else just want my girls and soon to arrive boy to be happy? there will be hatred, resentment, and misery. I don't know if that's just hormones talking or what! I don't know how I can be a great weekend father. Being in a lo. IF YOU BOTH DECIDED TO STAY IN A LOVELESS RELATIONSHIP. Lovers have a fun in comfortable room. To think about the kids. I wasn't happy. "Once you cross that line, look for life to get easier in every way. Honestly if I wouldn't of gotten pregnant I would not be with him. Last updated on June 9, 2022 by Michelle Devani There are many things that may cause a broken heart. Well of course he would keep the car. Unless your girlfriend deems fine that you both do not continue the relationship, by all means.". There are many women out here who will do this if given the chance. Its best to rip the band-aid off now instead of living a miserable life indefinitely. @jessi, LMFAOI like ur commentVery BLUNT and to the POINT. If you don't like him, you don't have to live with him or use him. a deed frowned upon by society and seen as a problem The deed has already been done instead of advising and coming up with ways to make sure the child is brought up in a obviously deserving loving environment that the child needs instead of an environment filled with resentment, hate, misery, spitefulness etc etc, you all are pushing.insulting and forcing the guy to guy marry the girl in question.. marrying that girl would even be a bigger mistake and problem than the first one. He has been nothing but supportive, but I do not love him. I know that my kids love us both. There are more than likely services in your area to help you get on your feet (welfare,food stamps,shelter). Group Leaders arent expected to spend any additional time in the community, and are not held to a set schedule. I just put myself on hold. I hated the way I felt with him. Sex can lead to pregnancy and I'm assuming you knew the possibility of pregnancy when you made the choice. Rejecting your man's baby mama is almost the same as rejecting your boyfriend's child and you don't want to do that. BE RESPOSIBLE MAKE SURE TO BE THERE FOR THE CHILD. You both mature guys so kindly sit her down and explain with vital reasons to her as to why just cant marry her but be sure to do it in a spirit of gentleness less you provoke her and all plans fade cos gals can be crazy at times when provoked. A Group Leader is a What to Expect community member who has been selected by our staff to help maintain a positive, supportive tone within a group. How can I believe I fathered the child if she's been unfaithful ? I want to leave my 4 months pregnant girlfriend !! Maybe he doesn't like being used. Good luck to you. The stories of council-flat, benefit scrounger single mums are so far-fetched. Life is beautiful but you don't have a clue Sun and ocean blue Their magnificence, it don't make sense to you Black beauty, oh oh oh Black beauty, oh oh oh I paint the house black My wedding dress black leather too You have no room for light Love is lost on you I keep my lips red To seem like cherries in the spring Darling, you can't let everything The educational health content on What To Expect is reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts to be up-to-date and in line with the latest evidence-based medical information and accepted health guidelines, including the medically reviewed What to Expect books by Heidi Murkoff. Source these things out and make a plan to leave. At least you know your decision to not hook up with a guy was definitely the right one if he insults you for it. SAY IT AGAIN! It was required that women felt their decreased desire was significantly lower than that of their partner's. The authors interviewed 15 women between the ages of 25 and 59. "And Maggie Makes Three" is the thirteenth episode of the sixth season of the American animated television series The Simpsons. You don't even love him. No need to waste time your life and time on him. marrying that girl would even be a bigger mistake and problem than the first one. I know he can tell I'm not in love with him and I think he thinks he's in love with me ( told me he loved me only after 3 weeks of dating, should've been my first red flag there) anywho we don't really fight a lot and are mostly very friendly around eachother and really do try to make it work but when he gets in his moods I just can't he got drunk one night and almost ran us off the road after telling me he was fine ( he really was acting completely fine) then when I screamed due to being terifed he yelled at me, took away my phone and told me to get out of the house , which I did. Gabrielle Union and Dwyane Wade have welcomed their first baby to their family. Where are you from? ALL THIS TRANSLATE TO THE CHILD. BUTI had such a crappy childhood, I valued that more than I did my own personal happiness. My friends-with-benefits and I are having a baby (6 months along). This may not change her decision, but best to be honest. I got my, now wife, pregnant but she never loved me, in fact a month before she got pregnant she actually went to spend the night with some dude at a hotel in a different city, but she told me she just wanted to go away for a couple of days. I would rather someone abort a child they don't want than to have the child and it end up neglected and in the system as it got older. Life will not be easier staying with him. LoveDevani is an independent website. What to Expect supports Group Black and its mission to increase greater diversity in media voices and media ownership. It's like I've been sleepwalking all this timeI apologize for my rumbling, i really needed to get this off my chest. We work hard to share our most timely and active conversations with you. the most helpful and trustworthy pregnancy and parenting information. He's provided for me financially, has given me a house and a car, and is really into being a father. Ex gf keeps driving past my house!!? SHE DESERVES A SAYING IN THIS! The baby grew in her, she birthed it, she fed it, and she nurtured it every step of the way. I'm curious to find out how it turned out for you. seriously.. i find it hard to understand SOME MEN. Girlfriend is pregnant don't know if it's mine. I didn't want to waste one more day of my life feeling empty and with someone I didn't even like. Tell her at home and in private. She's rambunctious and wild and can make a complete disaster out of any room in 10 seconds flat. 4. Women are doing everything they can to get contraception. Please, please do not have an abortion like somebody commented. I love my daughter and i care about my wife but there is no love on my end. He's not in love so he's selfish??? It may be tolerable now, but it sounds like you are unhappy. You shouldn't have a baby unless you're in a committed relationship and have a foundation of financial and emotional security. And when the oldest child was about 10, I finally left. Eight women in their 20s, 30s, and 40s spoke to Insider about their decision to be child-free. Having a complex relationship that involves a baby mama means you have to include the other woman in your life; whether you like it or not. !I've been married for ten long miserable years to a wife I never loved. Many things will change during the whole 9 months of pregnancy. After I really got to know him without drinking and partying, I found out I didn't like his personality. what is de main reason why u do not love her?? As I said earlier, each person has different needs. If you feel a message or content violates these standards and would like to request its removal please submit the following information and our moderating team will respond shortly. We respect everyones right to express their thoughts and opinions as long as they remain respectful of other community members, and meet What to Expects Terms of Use. I even feel guilty saying this considering how hard other couples are trying to have a child and can't. Accept That You Will Never Be First. Damaged. This is the most stupid guy I have seen in my life twety something years of existance. Broken heart is a usual thing but, what is bad is the action that people choose to take to heal the broken heart itself. JP friend, thanks for taking the time to read my post and offer your advise. We made it to 8yrs. Forgotting that there's gonna be 3 children in his life forever? SCENARIO 2: STAY WITH THE PERSON YOU LOVE. I think it's best to do what will make you the happiest. Twins & Multiples: Your Tentative Time Table, Planned c section too presumptuous??? As such, you'll need to spend time with both his child's mom and his child. Don't let ANY women determine for you when you will become a father! However I would like children just not in this circumstance you know? "We are. Why is she with you? Leaving a pregnant girlfriend with your child, in my view is very selfish and irresponsible. If you don't like something about your life, MAKE A CHANGE. So you have been together 9yrs, do you have other children you need to think about as well? Privacy Policy. Whether the mistake were made with or without your intention, it still your mistake anyway. Im in the exact same boat man. Satisfaction can be found through bringing up children . Can't and haven't said a word to anyone about how i feel. I was done. It originally aired on the Fox network in the United States on January 22, 1995. In the workplace, women with youthful faces are often more successfuland make solid leaders.On the other hand, though, some baby-faced women get passed overfor challenging tasks and leadership roles. There are days I hate being pregnant and days I could swear I even hate him. How I wish she can understand and let me leave my life and be free. For all the guys out there who think a woman is the stepping stone to the next onewear a condom. This relationship is bad for my wife and me. She knows him for 9 MONTHS not years. I can't bear the thought of breaking up and not being a part to this child's upbringing. Being pregnant is not a free pass for not working. You decided to have a child with a man you barely know, you use him and his money (as you wrote, he can afford to pay for your car and other stuff) and you want us to praise you. I unfortunately love my ex I have tried to forgets my ex but I can't. Couldn't have said it any better And me too guys. Lastly, keeping a child she wanted to abort could cause her to hate the child, it's not guaranteed she would love the child when it was born. think twice before sharing personal details, foster a friendly and supportive environment, remove fake accounts, spam and misinformation, delete posts that violate our community guidelines, reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts. Note that once you confirm, this action cannot be undone. But we started fighting more and more. Do I have to spend the rest of my life with a woman I don't love? We only dated for three months before I got pregnant. I completely respect her decision on this. Nothing from the start. Perhaps you never talked about having a baby with your partner, or maybe you vaguely mentioned wanting kids "someday." You might've even agreed to try getting pregnant at 25 (or 30 or. GET A DNA TEST AS SOON AS THE CHILD IS BORN!!! There is very little physical attraction. Man and woman making love in bed. Has it ever gotten better. The man I am pregnant by has been in my life for years and is a good man but I am not in love with him. K lemme get one thing straight. (1 to 2 kg . And if you guys were just friends with benefits, why continue the pregnancy? New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. What kept us together is our deep friendship and and our ability to communicate. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Everybody deserves someone who is able to appreciate, respect, and love themselves. Told me "**** the baby" I was gone for a while after that but went back due to having no where else to go. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. There is no right way to be a parent there is the only way that you want to do it. ISNT THAT WHAT WE ALL WANT? Welcoming your new baby with wishes of health, joy and plenty of sleep. I was in love with someone else. If she says she doesn't want the relationship then that's fine but if a man says he doesn't then that's selfish. Sheffield Utd X Tottenham - Ao Vivo Grtis HD Sem Travar | Futebol Grtis HD. Op: I don't understand why you quit your job, but find a new one and go stay with family. As a woman, you get insulted for doing it, and you get insulted for not doing it. Sometimes people make choices to abort, adopt, or keep the child. Nobody wants to be controlled and it sounds like he deals with anger pretty poorly. 1) If you seriously just want the child, but not the mother, you know this can never happen unless you have an agreement with your girlfriend. Group Black's collective includes Essence, The Shade Room and Naturally Curly. YES PRO-LIFE HOWEVER THINK ABOUT IT THIS WAY COULD YOU PROVIDE THE BEST FOR THE CHILD? There are reasons you should know and love yourself before you love someone else that will remind you to be true to yourself. Aside from personal decision to have an unwanted relationship and questioning such question of having a baby with someone you don't want to be with, how to deal with it, we will need to be responsible. YOU CANNOT PROVIDE HAPPINESS WHEN YOU ARE NOT HAPPY. Support yourself. She has someone who depends solely on her. I am at a loss as to what I must do. And beware if your list of reasons is merely a hollow echo of your partner's. 3. Might not happen overnight but think of where you want to see yourself in a year. He and my parents think that we are in love, but I have been keeping my true feelings to myself for 6 months: I don't love him. hmmmm my advise to u is to pray to God n ask for forgiveness, i wonder the big talk u used on this gal b4 u got her on bed and now ur running frm ur responsibility. Good luck. I dont think Ill be at peace with her in marriage. It depends on the person. His family is great also. Is she shaka Zulu or she is not attracted to u?? I was not in love with the guy I got pregnant by. SCENARIO 1: STAY WITH HER BECUASE SHE IS PREGNANT (THIS IS THE FOUNDATION OF THE RELATIONSHIP). Don't marry someone you don't love. Saturday 4 Mar 2023 10:00 am. "All of the rational thoughts. She may have decided against an abortion thinking you will still be with her, but if not, TELL HER it is over and you will not be involved with her anymore (except of course whatever involvement you ahve with the child, support and custody-wise). If you break up right away, she can take the kid and you may miss a lot of the firsts w/them growing up. But I want to be a father. But shes not the type, shes fond of me un-necessarily. Purposely avoiding sex is a great time to have your own awakening Not having sex can be a. Sure, most couples are madly "in love" at first, but as time goes on I think most people who have been married 10, 20, 50+ years will say that love is first a choice and then feelings follow and there are some hard times when the feelings are not there and all you are left with is the choice to show love to this person. Ex My moving on process. The guy I was seeing was fun to party with but I didn't love him. Long story as short as possible! She's too far along to have an abortion.,. If I do something to hurt their father then im hurting my children because they love him. Thank you for purchase! It is normal to want to lay your head on your mother's breast and feel the security and warmth of her love and compassion. Being pregnant isn't an excuse to work not work, I worked up until I was 38 weeks along by choice. He is capable of choosing to be with you and not having a child with you, or leaving if he decides he wants a child more. Obviously she is going to get custody if we split up. It wasn't ideal but eventually I got a better job and bought myself a nice car. One in 4 women will hang onto 11 lbs. There are many things that may cause a broken heart. I've made my OWN money since I was 15 years old and before I quit my job to MOVE Paid for all my own stuff and bills WITHOUT his help. Know his concern about the current situation and discuss. Its been almost 5yrs. And 3 children. Your post will be hidden and deleted by moderators. It has been the hardest most brutal experience of my life. You could be the best, healthiest, most well adjusted person. It's no one else's responsibility to support you. Trust me dude, do whatever you have to to end this A.S.A.P. If you've only been together 3 mos, where did you live before you met? 2005-2023Everyday Health, Inc., a Ziff Davis company. He's provided for me financially, has given me a house and a car, and is really into being a father. We are deciding if we should divorce now or later when she is bigger. The end result was the same my siblings and I had the worse upbringing. The issue is she is healthcare prof and works in OBS/GYN so there is no way way she would have an abortion, she has just been involved in too many such procedures and its just not for her. U dont love her bcos u havent made ur mind to do so the moment u sit down to think about this gurl as a grown man n de future, am sure u start developin love for her and am sure u liked her thats why u slept with her what makes u slept with her?? Cookie Notice Men don't have a biological clock in the same sense as women. AND NO ONE IN THIS SITUATION WILL BE HAPPY IF IT IS. No we were together 3 months when I got pregnant. You've been clear with him from the start. Sucked it up and did what I had to do for my kids. The dilemma I have a female colleague who has, over the past three years, told me she loves me and would like to marry me.The problem is that I do not love her and I have told her that. Please whitelist our site to get all the best deals and offers from our partners. Even when you first meet your new child, don't put expectations on how you should feel. But men can still get baby fever. Just that simple. I am a single mom and have been for a few years- however, my first child was planned with my fiance' and we were madly in love and it was the greatest, happiest time of my life. My ex won't come back to me after I hurt h Ex girlfriend is pregnant with her new boyfriend months after breaking up with me. Anyways, we decided to get marry after finding out that she was pregnant, even though I had my doubts if it was my baby or not. After a little while, if you still feel the same (i.e. CLICK HERE to subscribe to our daily up-to-date news!! Right? Unfortunately it only lasted 4 and half years because he was becoming abusive. Glancing over my shoulder in a coffee shop, I saw a couple of women, both bouncing perfectly content babies on their laps. We only dated for three months before I got pregnant. ( though I dont see the first one as a mistake because making babies should not be a mistake.it is the natural order of things).you cant force people to do things out of their wishes and desires. Nobody forces you to live with him, if you really don't like him, you can find a job and leave. SCENARION 4: HAVE AN OBORTION. Please whitelist our site to get all the best deals and offers from our partners. A Group Owner is a member that has initiated the creation of a group to connect with other members to share their journey through the same pregnancy & baby stages. He's not all bad. Don't feel guilty if you're not in a constant state of love and bliss when you have a new baby. 37 weeks today. Use of this site is subject to our terms of use and privacy policy. but honestly did society really win? In the episode, Homer recounts the story of Maggie's birth when the kids ask why there are no photos of her in the family album. Grown apart and have no interest in each others lives! Rightfully so! Noooo you have to marry and then spend the rest of your lives in hell with someone you slept with? Likewise, it's also draining, frustrating, and time-consuming. More answers below Quora User Managing Partner (Solicitor) & Mechanical Engineer Author has 20.3K answers and 10.7M answer views 1 y Personally, I think you should only have sex with people you are in love with. I try to act normal as Bella and I sit here talking, even though I'm feeling abnormally attracted to her even . Don't get me wrong here, my daughter can destroy with the best of them. To begin, the average cost of vaginal delivery in the US, with health insurance, is $4,300. Firstly, I am sending my regards to you all. It was important to me that my children had as normal upbringing as possible. i know for sure u dated her for longer b4 she got pregnant start looking at the quality this gal have n think of ur daughter after that give her a chance n delete that mind of not loving her out of ur mind n married her ..am sure God will give u new hrt to love her.. Chosing to be in a rebound relationship to forget the past and aiming for some fun also cause a problem. If it gets closer to your due date though, and you feel like nothing's changed, I do think it'd be a good idea to consider adoption. Begin speaking about the kids, as well, mentioning different accomplishments they've made lately . You should do what will make you happy. You could split amicably and try to remain friends to do what's best for the child. NO BABY no matter what deserves to be killed. She actually is (5 months now), but I took all the words back (the reasons why I didn't want to be with her).
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having a baby with a woman you don't love