Can I let you know for sure tomorrow?. Giving my notebook a bath. You can try to head it off by always responding with some activity youre doing that could theoretically make you busy if it turns out you need to be busy But frankly if someone is trying to manipulate you then you have a manipulative person problem, not a specific question problem. Julia has been . "That is very thoughtful of you, it was a nice weekend.". It generally meant that they had read somewhere on some really stupid website that you should try to get the girl you want to talk about herself, because girls like to talk about themselves. When a friend asks and I find out that I am busy I often offer some other day to show them that I am interested in hanging out with them. Sometimes your lover or friend may forget to send you a morning text. Since LW was talking about very short-term questions, I certainly hope no one is asking because they need to tell the caterer! That doesnt make it okay. The second interpretation of this question is, what are you doing in life? The genered expectations in our family are much more of the women do the planning variety which can get super annoying when wed like to just go along for the ride every once in a while. Some variation of were busy or we have plans works better. A simple, 'We hope you're doing well' will suffice," a Deadline editor tweeted. To be honest, not good. Especially since they explicitly mention friends, relatives, and people on dating sites. Id like to leave you with a couple of last thoughts to consider: One is that you say she has reacted to, We are going to by hearing a command and responding accordingly. You (if you are up for it potentially) yeah, thatd be fun OK, you want to ASK if hell help you w/ your home maintenance, fine, but these are not HIS chores anymore. "You know I can do this anytime.". This says "I'm doing well.". I think lots of people, especially women, are socialized to think that confidence is impolite, so they try to sound unassertive. If she wants to NOT have some other grownup setting a price on her activities occasionally, she can get a job and move out, and then I wont be saying, a couple of times a month, if youre home tonight, I need you for X.. You on the other hand, will get off the phone feeling charged and energized.and get right back to doing nothing. What are you doing tomorrow? Vacuuming the cat. #2 is a good point. But I have made a major effort to train myself to STATE WHAT I WANT first. Getting this question still stresses me out because I feel like I have to work 100x harder to set and enforce said boundaries than if people just asked up front. That's why you should remember these funny responses to "what are you going to do with your life" for the next time the question pops up: If you have no idea what degree you're going to get or where you want to live in the future, pretend that you have something big planned, but don't want to ruin the surprise. It helps that at this point in my life Ive stopped associating with people who dont understand that sometimes you can only have so much fun and then you need some time to like, open all your mail and pet the cat. And we do know that extreme surveillance is a very brutal and destructive form of torture. I like to use Oh, you know, just some of the usual weekend stuff. #1078: Sooooooowhat are you doing thisweekend?, Follow CaptainAwkward.com on WordPress.com. Another get out the LW could use is, Im still figuring out my plans for that daywas there something you wanted us to do together? and then Yes, thatll work, if you want to do the thing, or Hm, I dont think I can fit that in, if you dontno need to specify that the thing that it wont fit into is a day of sitting around in your pajamas and binge-watching things on Netflix. My cousins with kids are trying to push their 8-12 year olds on me to tutor them and Im like 1. Oh, surviving, surviving. Doesnt work with friends / family obviously, but I have to consult my husband every single time when it comes to sales pitches / offers in retail / invitations from strangers etc. Funny Responses to "What Are You Doing?" I love having something witty, funny, or even sarcastic cued up in response to one of the most common questions asked in any given day. But I dont ask them where theyre from, because its really none of my business; there are other kinds of small talk to make. For me, it makes saying no so much harder. This one is a bit tricky for me. On the other hand, that was a while ago. If its as specific as Thursday, thats true, but I find when its a larger stretch like the weekend or the holidays its just as likely to be an attempt to get to know you and learn about your hobbies, interests, routine, etc, and find out if you have anything in common/have a life they find interesting/etc. Are you asking where are you from of every person you meet the first time, or only of those whose appearance/accent makes you suspect they are not from your locality? Feeding a giraffe. I have learned over my decade plus of retail experience that the key to small talk that doesnt annoy people is to feel out what they seem excited to talk about. What about you?. I find mildly-but-not-entirely-absurd stock answers to be a good distraction. ME: Hi [Friend], Id like to plan a karaoke night with you, are you free [date] or [date]? (And it also stopped me from being super-duper free to do alllll the weekend shifts. Well see you at other time, but not in the morning.. Those on the other side never see it that way. We also told our children when they were growing up that they could use us as an excuse any time they felt pressured or uncomfortable saying no for themselves. - Ogden Nash - Old timers, weekends, and airplane landings are alike. Every weekend! Id be open to a one-on-one hangout but just out of energy for any group thing, if thats why youre asking laundryall the laundry. Them: We should have lunch soon. hours of 8 p.m. and 1 a.m. on Friday and Saturday because it will make you seem like you don't have anything better to do on the weekend. Thank you! It took a LOOOOONNNNGGG time to train them out of, What are you doing this weekend? But then theres her Im going to need you to be my helper for Christmas Day because Im getting older, and that doesnt seem so presumptuousits MY Christmas Day and MY extended family too. For an acquaintance, depends. Always always have a plan I forgot about until next day. And it's a great way to know what's at the top of someone's mind. Go For a Walk: One of the simplest and most fun things on weekends is going out for a walk. And the balls in their court if they were actually trying to set up something fun. Updog. I think this is a lot clearer in other contexts. Developed with the most common customer inquiries in mind, these responses give customer service reps the power to represent your brand with uniformity, accuracy, and speed. My go-to script for these (which I HATE) is an equally noncommittal, Why, whats up? Im not saying I do or dont have plans, but Im going to figure out why theyre asking me the question. Its okay that sometimes my anxiety is bad. Yes, this. Its okay that I usually spend my weekends watching movies/playing videogames/reading and those arent shameful hobbies. An alternative then is to actually mention the fact that you are sending them an email. That being said, in a couple of guys Ive dated in the last few years, Ive been amazed at how fast and how almost without me noticing they can go from planning and executing dates very well to somehow only being able to function if Im doing it. Funny Bumble Answers #4: Ironic, Nerdy-Cute Guy As I explained, however, sometimes responding to a compliment requires a funny response. For me, laundry is a good excuse, because you can make it seems as small or as big as youd like. No useful data is exchanged, its just polite social grease to ease people along in their day without ignoring each other (which is definitely read as rude). Bear in mind that you may only ask where are you from once, but the person with the non-local accent is not unlikely to be asked multiple times a day, every single day for YEARS; and POC may be on the receiving end for their whole lives. This might just be a difference in communication styles. How should I respond? Thats the kind of bullshit that is so often behind the oh Im so nice to your differentness behavior belief that you shouldnt be what you are, and that you probably did something not right to get there. To them I am this exotic other they feel entitled to treat in a certain way because their goodness and its expression is more important than my real and complex experience as a human being. Ive had trouble with that one, too. If you have plans, just say so. Be polite. I'll leave you to be the judge of when it's most appropriate, all . (Full disclosure: Whole in-law family are control freaks and this type of thing IS a setup with them. Like, say you pretend to take up crochet, and designate working on my crochet projects/gifts as your backup plan, and so when people you know are assholes about this ask you have the backup plan. Depending on the purpose of the encounter, that might mark the end of the interaction or serve as an agreed-upon signal for one or the other or both parties to end the dance of content-free niceties and get to the point or commence the conducting of shared business. I went to a lot of meetings I did not want to go because of this, cause I pretty much was cornered into it after admitting I have not set plans.. But I like to think that Im better at saying no now, even though people do sometimes react badly. I understand commenters who dont see this question as anything more than polite small talk. No more Did I say sunday I meant saturday, now you have to change all your weekend plans ever again. I probably picked it up from my mom, who does the same thing. Well, here's that question again: do you know what you want to do with your life or are you still trying to figure it out? I get a bit awkward when people ask me that question too, because of the whole half-agreeing to plans before theyre actually exposed (I never considered it nosy personally but I can see how it might come across that way). Seriously, both she and my sister are true extroverts, bless them, which is why I use the term hyper-social weirdos to describe them. Since youre not busy, do you want to go to [event] with me? If you dont want to go, just say so. That way they know Im not just sitting around with nothing to do, so I havent just signed myself up for free babysitting or moving services. But that was fun and consensual for both parties. Ive heard its a very Southern California thing and that people from other places are annoyed by it. It sounds like you find the second uncomfortable or have had bad experiences with people misusing it to manipulate you. This is my first time commenting because so much of this rang true. Thats where I am as well with my kid. Source: Facebook. It's to funny for everybody. Nothing much (I have one coworker who now sometimes asks me What are you doing this weekend? I also come from an area that tends to do a lot more indirect communication than I think many parts of the US, though, and tend to prefer a softer communication style unless someones being either rude or unaware enough to force me into being blunt. No, seriously, TheDukeDevlin has the correct answer. Need some help actually. See, shes trying to force you to perform niceness and capitulate because its hard to think of a way to get rid of her that wont make you look like a bitch not performing socially-mandatory niceness. I know people who mean well dont like hearing this, but I think that its important for people who mean well to also consider how the people they interact with might feel, so I consider this type of information to be useful to anyone who truly wants others to feel welcomed and comfortable. So threatening to make her move out is just not wise. 22. The professor went to the restroom. Always? Im also annoyed by these questions! Its not even really pushback. My blood pressure. 2. This realization makes me like Tuesdays more.) Thats possibly reasonable to do with a minor child, but youre still acting to preserve a parental level of dominance over her as an adult. 3.If LW does not want to do the babysitting or isnt available for it on weekends, that should be a separate conversation with those people and maybe set of boundaries to discuss with them. E- Enjoying. These are my 2 best friends for over 20 years each! I actually trained my mother out of this question by responding to every vague What are you doing on X? by saying Tell me what you really want to know. Fortunately, my mother is a reasonable person who understands boundaries, and mostly just laughed and said Good point, Z is going on and Id like to go and wanted company. She also totally gets my introversion and that sometimes I dont have anything going on but Id still rather not do Z is a perfectly valid answer. Your parent or in-law will not die if they cant railroad your schedule. I have some friends who are really passive about planning things and it drives me insane I have started actively responding what did you have in mind? and batting back all their attempts to make me plan the night. How odd to be on both sides of this! Im busy! They specifically mentioned 4 contexts where the asker then does go on to invite them to do something or asks for a favor. etc. I dont hear it much in my circles, and if it does come up I just say something noncommittal and wait for them to present a direct invitation or request if they want to. Oh you want to invite me to happy hour [with a bunch of colleagues I hate when theyre sober let alone when theyre drunk]? Of course, you might have said that when you know that movie will be out for weeks and youd absolutely prefer to have an excuse to build a couch cushion fort and have an audience who is actually impressed by your terrible magic tricks, and no one wins. It seems to me to have grown somehow out of how do you do, to which the appropriate response was, of course, how do you do. I dont want to give you a rundown of my plans. If someone just using what are you doing on __ as a casual opening to issue an invite, it gives them the opening they need. Im from here. Am I supposed to answer? Me:why? I hate ditherers with the passion of a thousand suns. and then if I do end up wanting to do whatever it is they want to do, suddenly my schedule cleared up! Funny Responses to Rude Comments Sorry fella, I don't have the energy to pretend to like you today. Threading has run out, so replying to your top comment, spd please try to avoid using the word spazzy. I automatically ask this without thinking about it pretty often. And they tend to be very very very sure of what counts as racism (nothing they do/say, of course), with an overlay of you should be grateful I am nice to you to wrap it all up. And genuinely interested in what theyre doing! But Im not interested in any work-related socializing that eats into my personal life). If ever there was a moment for the standard Wow script, this surely would be it. ), Anyway, that wont do the job. How much stuff is there? Then they use your answer to decide if you're the sort of person who gets to join their clan and engage in merriment and shenanigans on a regular basis. Him: You must be doing something. No matter how old you are, you don't want to be badgered about your life choices. Indeed. Thank you!!! And I had to say to her, over the airport thing: Act like a grownup. If I have to treat her like a grownup, and not like my minor child that I can boss around, she can fucking treat ME like a grownup, and not like her mommy that she takes for granted.. Explain yourself; dont make me drag it out of you. Maybe actually I am just dealing with one of those people who force you to be blunt. That, or non-questions. BUT! I get lunch with my coworkers on Friday and there is a lot of so is anyone doing anything interesting this weekend? in our conversation. Why do I feel entitled to her assistance with something I am doing for her grandmother & grandfather while she sits in her room and plays Minecraft? If they play extra coy with me, Ill just be extra cryptic in return. What are you doing for dinner? What are you up to? for those I am not interested in carving out space for.). 1. We assume you wont want to share all your more detailed baggage or bad news with someone you dont know very well and we are a little taken aback if you actually do because it indicates that you feel a level of closeness with us that we didnt necessarily feel with you. It sounds to me like an attempt to take away my ability to say no. Speak to US respectfully. Like, you want to hang out with me, but dont want to ask me straight up. I am eating. As a lot of commenters have pointed out what are you doing this weekend can be asked in a variety of contexts with a variety of motives BUT one thing that has tended to work well for me is to just pick one thing Im to talk about without mentioning when it is: Im looking forward to my birdwatching class! or Partner and I are going on a hike! and then asking about their weekend. When Ive used it outside of the US and on people who are not Anglophones from birth, its often perceived as prying which, in those countries, it is. That question from certain people stresses me too! Nah, Why do you ask is generally pretty safe to take literally. Mentioning your actual plans is one. So if you say Im probably going to that new movie, they dont ask and youre not put on the spot. Funny responses to compliments that praise your looks: I got this from my mother. If you already made someone admit that they do not have Serious Plans, of course at this point saying no to your invitation is going to be so much more difficult, because its going to be rude! Or autistic natives; I know this one intellectually, but I still have a lot of trouble remembering in the moment that its usually not a real question, and Im also unsure how to respond when I do remember, because I dont like lying, and Im well/fine is usually a lie for me. I sympathize. I usually end up saying something noncommittal like I might be doing xyz, but Im not sure yet why? and waiting to see what the actual deal is. What are you doing this weekend? Folding the dishes. So the correct answer is, "I'm hanging out with you." Most of the time, that's the right answer. I have a feeling my check liver light will come on this weekend. and the goal is to just be ok with letting them down when they are the ones who have set an unagreed demand on your time. Good, I just saw the cutest squirrel.. But, in the long run, in my life, I think the conflict over emotional labor and fair division of chores, while sometimes painful and frustrating, was something we were able to move past when I moved out because I never felt unsafe.
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funny responses to what are you doing this weekend