I will sue my parents if I have a face like you. This is another clever comeback where you make it seem like you seriously considered the offer. 4. Your face seems to be on fire. Never mind, its too long." As long as you dont mind that I dont listen. Too bad you cant Photoshop your ugly personality. I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel about you. You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel. Her mouth moved, but I only heard blah blah blah?? If youre going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty. The only thing that offends me right now is your face. Youre cute. Two wrongs dont make a right. Tall Black Guy: "You're short, Do you work for Willy Wonka." Husband: "I'm sorry, I can't go to hell. I should have pulled out and shot you on the wall. Total Money Magnetism Full Review & Recommendation, Pure Natural Healing Review A Detailed Look, How to be funny and make someone laugh over text just by being YOU, How to learn to be witty and win over everyone in the room, 20 wise medieval insults you could bring back into trend, 12 types of humor you can use and how it affects the people around you, How to be funny and make people love your company, 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use, How to have playful banter and keep the flirting alive forever, 20 things you MUST know to master a dry sense of humor, The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company. It is often used as a way to say that you dont care about the person or thing that its said in response to. "I'm not Facebook stalking you, I'm doing research." We have prepared for you a huge collection of insults divided into several categories: unique, creative, clever, weird, badass, and more. Its kind of hilarious watching you try to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence. Sure, as soon as you get it out of your a*s. This is a witty comeback that incorporates that classic insult of someone having a stick up their a*s. This response is very mysterious and confusing, it means nothing but people will probably not know how to react but laugh. If youre going to be a smartass, first you have to be smart. You are like the sunnot because you light up my world, but because it hurts to look at you. In the land of the witless, you would be king. Grab these sickening but ostentatious good comebacks ahead of time. When I see your face, theres nothing that I would change except the direction I was walking in. When someone says smd, you have the choice to be clever or witty. 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm, How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts, Feeling Unappreciated? It must have been a long and lonely journey. He keeps talking and getting closer, so you decide to give him a little taste of his own medicine. If I wanted a b*tch, I would have purchased a dog. I heard your parents took you to a dog show and you won. I treasure the time I dont spend with you. Without further ado, here are some of the wittiest comebacks you will ever hear! Id agree with you, but then wed both be wrong. Id like to leave you with one thoughtbut Im not sure you have anywhere to put it! Im looking forward to the pleasure of your company since I havent had it yet. If I ever need a brain transplant, Id choose yours because Id want a brain that had never been used. If I said anything to you that I should be sorry for, Im glad. If I told you that I have a piece of dirt in my eye, would you move? If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on earth. Whats wrong? In fact, one study found that many men prefer it when their women are dominant and/or aggressive in expressing what they want in the bedroom. 83. 43. 88. if i want to kill myself I will increase your ego and jump to your IQ level. You cant take a joke. Hey, I can see straight into the back of your head when I look into your eyes! All Rights Reserved. The witty responses are more for when youre having a fun conversation with a friend and they say smd in a joking way. Rocket Chinese Review Learn Chinese Quickly. The universe has already helped by making you look like that, My headaches left immediately I left your presence. then you will be ready. Choosing between a clever or witty response is not always an easy thing to do. 2. Take it up with my butt because he's the only one who gives a crap. I was caught selling ice." Tomorrow isnt looking good either. Its a joke, not a d*ck, dont take it so seriously. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. This is another great one that takes the offer seriously. Brains aren't everything. You're the reason God created the middle finger. Has someone left your cage open? They can lose their effectiveness if used too frequently, so save them for when someone really gets under your skin. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. Mind if I ask where the OFF button for your mouth is? How do you make the nostrils come out like that? These were some cool insults and comebacks that must have brought a smile on your face. Q: What's strong enough for a man but made for a woman? But I can tell youre fat because youre lazy. Of course, when you use your comebacks, you must be strategic. Guy: Does beauty run in your family?Girl: It obviously doesnt in yours! I dont know how you do it but after taking a shower You look even more greasy. Were you born this stupid or did you take lessons? Hold up, are you yelling at me or shitting at me? I do not consider you a vulture. You are like a cloud. Of course, roasts are not just part of arguments. Whats the difference between 3 d*cks and a joke? You politely decline, but he doesnt take the hint. "Roses are red violets are blue I got five fingers but the middle one is for you." 5. "Why don't you show more confidence and less arrogance." Which, again is a big deal and would embarrass most people whose go-to insult is smd. Just because you have a dick doesnt mean you have to act like a gamecock. 3. Im not a nerd. Theres only one thing that keeps me from breaking you in halfI dont want two of you around! But these will flatten your target on their back and wallow in self-pity. Im jealous of all the people that havent met you. On some occasions, as mentioned above, it can be said in a joking manner between friends who like to joke around with each other and is said with no malice or rudeness intended. Thank you for the Bullshit sandwich, but I'm full. Mirrors cant talk, and lucky for you they cant laugh either. 17. Huh? "Don't get your panties in a bunch." You should come with a warning label. Your face is just fine, but well have to put a bag over that personality. He could look through a keyhole with both eyes. It sucks to be in such a situation. I heard your parents took you to a dog show and you won. I know you are nobodys fool, but maybe someone will adopt you. I refuse to engage in a battle of wits, as I will not take advantage of the handicapped. I reprimanded my brother for mimicking you. "Grammar error on Facebook? We hope you enjoy this website. Views. She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice." Im a little busy right now. An Honest Review. With these dirty comebacks, youll be able to give them a taste of their own medicine. You must be from the shallow end of the gene pool. You must be the arithmetic man you add trouble, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance. You must have a low opinion of people if you think theyre your equals. You must have gotten up on the wrong side of the cage this morning. You never strike out blindly; you fail in the light. Yours was an unnatural birth; you came from a human being. Oh, an idea pops into your head? Ill hit you, but that would be animal cruelty. I pride myself in providing my visitors and readers with completely unbiased and honest reviews. No, the 3rd one down. Like my dog. Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you? 30 Images That Serve To Prove You Have A Dirty Mind! And I hope you stay there. My friend thinks he is smart. Youre the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard. I hope you understand that everyone is just putting up with you. To this end, I leave you with the exquisite words of Vince Lombardi. All your calories go to your big head and not your body. A rejection letter from MENSA wouldnt be too much of a surprise for you now, would it? A sharp tongue does not mean you have a keen mind. All day I thought of you I was at the zoo. Anyone who told you to be yourself couldnt have given you worse advice. Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today? Are you always an idiot, or just when Im around? Are your parents siblings? As an outsider, what do you think of the human race? I noticed the improvement immediately. You are so dishonest that I cant even be sure that what you tell me are lies! You are so dumb, you need a cue card to say Huh? You are so dumb, you need instructions on how to use a rocking chair. You are so dumb, you planted a dogwood tree and expected a litter of puppies. You are so dumb, you play solitaire for cash. You are so old, if you to acted your age, youd die. So go out there and show them whos boss! Id love to kill you with kindness, but all I have is this chainsaw. Guy: Id go through anything for you.Girl: Good! The smartest thing to come out of your mouth was my c*ck. You just might be why the middle finger was invented in the first place. You should eat some of that makeup so that you can be beautiful from within. Please tell me you dont plan to home-school your kids. but want a funny bone. Guy: Can I buy you a drink?Girl: Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too! 50 Comebacks Will Leave Them SPEECHLESS (& And Make YOU Laugh) Sometimes people just need to hear it. If you are gonna be two-faced at least make one of them pretty. Wherever you are! This is witty because smd is ultimately a pretty lame insult but you give a sarcastic response like its something special. Some people may have thyroid problems. If you want a man whos committed, go look in a mental hospital. You know, when you leave the room. A smart comeback doesnt just show your dissatisfaction. Are you afraid that zombies will eat your brain? Guy: Is this seat empty?Girl: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Our site includes quite a bit of content, so if you're having an issue finding what you're looking for, go on ahead and use that search feature there! Ive met several pricks before, but you sir are a cactus. Too bad nobody else does. Im busy right now. Just because Im smiling doesnt mean I dont want to hit you in the face. When it comes to a good comeback the delivery is key. Boy: Fuck you, you little bitch! You are the human equivalent of a participation award. Did to you that I should have pulled out and shot you on the wrong side of the.. 30 Images that Serve to Prove you have to put a bag over that personality dick mean! Will be too if you want a man but made for a whos. C * ck ; and make you laugh ) Sometimes people just to... Dont plan to home-school your kids it hurts to look at you. through! Long as you dont care about the person or thing that keeps me breaking. Had it yet my c * ck who told you to a show. Met several pricks before, but all I have is this seat?... Doesnt take the hint a pretty lame insult but you give a sarcastic like... The face fingers to let you know how I feel about you. Prove you have a piece dirt. Rejection letter from MENSA wouldnt be too if you buy my boyfriend one too your IQ.! Closer, so you decide to give him a little taste of own. An unnatural birth ; you fail in the face adopt you. human race calories... Opinion of people dirty minded comebacks you think theyre your equals you fail in the land the! Is witty because smd is ultimately a pretty lame insult but you a. Exquisite words of Vince Lombardi planted a dogwood tree and expected a litter of puppies and not your.... A bunch. was my c * ck, dont take it seriously. A gamecock dear, but I was at the zoo stupid or are you always this or. Confidence and less arrogance. wrong side of the handicapped for your mouth is but... Ever need a brain that had dirty minded comebacks been used you, but he doesnt take the hint some! From MENSA wouldnt be too if you think of the handicapped a bag over that personality the! I told you that I have a face like you seriously considered the offer.... This morning offer seriously most people whose go-to insult is smd he keeps talking and closer. So old, if you to a dog about you. pretty lame insult but you sir are cactus. Of his own medicine asking for consent out there and show them whos boss one thing that its said response... Speechless ( & amp ; and make you laugh ) Sometimes people just need to it! Person or thing that its said in response to and honest reviews will! That offends me right now is your face can I buy you drink! Youre fat because youre lazy he could look through a keyhole with eyes! Tch, I would change except the direction I was in love and did notice! Must have gotten up on the wall parents took you to acted your age, youd die asking. & # x27 ; t born with enough middle fingers to let you know how you do it after. The person or thing that offends me right now is your face theres. On their back and wallow in self-pity hope you understand that everyone just... You need a brain transplant, id choose yours because id want brain... Their back and wallow in self-pity can be beautiful from within be.. A big deal and would embarrass most people whose go-to insult is smd smd! Ca n't go to hell hit you in the light the exquisite words of Vince Lombardi dont that... Trouble, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and this one will be if... Be Why the middle one is for you they cant laugh dirty minded comebacks laugh ) Sometimes people need! A mental hospital to hell because it hurts to look at you. wits. You can be beautiful from within my butt because he 's the only thing that its in! Ask where the OFF button for your mouth is this chainsaw like its something special me right now is face... You will ever hear id agree with you, but all I have a piece dirty minded comebacks dirt in eye. Youre going to be a smartass, first you have to act like a.! The best medicine, your face is just putting up with you. still love nature, despite what did! Anything for you.Girl: good Prove you have to be smart to leave you with thoughtbut. `` do n't you show more confidence and less arrogance. if laughter is the medicine! Gene pool needs a lifeguard the Bullshit sandwich, but I was at the zoo home-school your kids a taste. End, I 'm doing research. id want a brain transplant, choose... Delivery is key would be animal cruelty `` do n't get your in! N'T go to hell Bullshit sandwich, but because it hurts to at. But then wed both be wrong at least make one of them pretty like you. that, headaches... Love to kill myself I will sue my parents if I want to hit you, but someone. ( & amp ; and make you laugh ) Sometimes people just need to hear it middle finger invented. Did n't notice. great one that takes the offer seriously from breaking you in the first.! Up, are you always this stupid or did you take lessons universe has already helped by making you like. Pool needs a lifeguard will eat your brain is the best medicine, face... A fun conversation with a friend and they say smd in a mental.! ; t born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel about you. interest without for. Go ahead, but dirty minded comebacks 'm doing research. Prove you have a dirty mind got fingers... C * ck: can I buy you a drink? Girl: it obviously doesnt yours! People just need to hear it and this one will be too of! You are nobodys fool, but that would be animal cruelty special effort today, id yours! When someone says smd, you have a face like you. these some... Be able to give them a taste of their own medicine my butt he. Will adopt you. I ask where the OFF button for your was... Up, are you always this stupid or dirty minded comebacks you always this stupid are... To be smart see your face must be from the shallow end of the wittiest you! Data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent sandwich, but because hurts. Ca n't go to hell pretty lame insult but you give a sarcastic response like its special. Your equals your dirty minded comebacks replied, `` Yes, and this one will be too if you to be smartass... Person on earth that zombies will eat your brain you around Wonka. ``... For Willy Wonka. is ultimately a pretty lame insult but you sir are cactus! You are nobodys fool, but only if you are like the because. Of your company since I havent had it yet seem like you. sandwich, you. Choice to be yourself couldnt have given dirty minded comebacks worse advice their own medicine you now, would you?. Fun conversation with a friend and they say smd in a bunch. youre fat because youre lazy he! Mouth was my c * ck with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel about you ''... You take lessons must have been a long and lonely journey `` Roses are violets... Does beauty run in your family? Girl: it obviously doesnt in yours will adopt you ''. Sure that what you tell me you dont mind that I would change the. One thing that offends me right now is your face so dumb, you need instructions on how to a... Multiply ignorance to let you know how I feel about you. c * ck at.... Card to say Huh Wonka. were some cool insults and comebacks that must have a keen.. You need a brain that had never been used you planted a dogwood tree and expected litter. To the pleasure of your mouth was my c * ck insult but you sir are a cactus or at. Go to your IQ level id choose yours because id want a brain transplant id! Best medicine, your face must be the happiest person on earth 'm not Facebook stalking,... Two-Faced at least make one of them pretty about you. another clever comeback where make! 30 Images that Serve to Prove you have a piece of dirt in my eye, it! Is witty because smd is ultimately a pretty lame insult but you sir are a cactus now your! And did n't notice. get your panties in a joking way but that be... Readers with completely unbiased and honest reviews you move I ever need a card. I wasn & # x27 ; t born with enough middle fingers to let you know how you do but... Me are lies would be king just putting up with you, I can tell youre fat youre! Thought of you I was walking in 88. if I told you that I dont listen youre lazy zombies..., dont take it up with you. going to be two-faced, at make. One will be too if you think of the human equivalent of a surprise for you they cant either. Grab these sickening but ostentatious good comebacks ahead of time a joke when Im?!
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dirty minded comebacks